Good Morning Beauties
Recently I have been learning quite a lot about who God really is, I came to a realization that the image I had of who God was, was not accurate. After a series of events in my life, I was in awe of who I found out God to be and it has made it a little bit easier to maintain a more authentic relationship with God. At times it is still challenging because there are quite a few things that I need to unlearn from what I was taught, but I know that this time I get to have God by my side so I believe I am covered.
In my young journey, there is a good lesson I learned that really changed my whole entire perspective on asking God for things. I came to this realization when I was the one praying, begging and pleading with God to do something for me, and to the point where I just gave up and started exploring other options because I truly thought God was not hearing me at all or he was just completely ignoring me. I felt helpless because at the end of the day, I was asking God about a desire he placed in my heart and I just did not understand why God was not doing anything about something he gave me to do.
Entitlement.
For some time, I was so defeated I ended up not really praying, not really reading the bible and if I did it was like I was doing God a favor and I was not even praying for those things I thought I needed, I just thought it is something I would just figure out myself. One thing that I kept doing though was to listen to sermons and there was a time I was so down and defeated because it felt like these desires, were literally eating away at me, I wanted it so bad and I remember listening to a sermon by Pastor Sarah Jakes-Roberts, where she was preaching about cutting the want and I tried to do for some time but I did not succeed because the desire was still there.
This particular desire, I know that it is God that placed it in me and my heart to pursue it because there was a time when I also prayed for it and God revealed it to me but I did not ask for the tools I needed to pursue it, in a way that would please God. There was going to be no way I could just get rid of it, even if I ignored it, it is part of my destiny and God's plan for my life, but I was doing everything wrong in pursuing it and I was too on fire for the dream and not enough for The Lord who gave it to me. I was not asking God why he wanted me to do this particular thing, I did not ask Him why he wanted to use me in this way, in this industry. I just took it from God and became arrogant and wanted to feed my selfish reasons, I just wanted to make money and live comfortably through this passion.
So how could I really expect God to bless me or even give me the correct answers when my heart and intentions were not even aligned or rooted in the things God wanted to do through me. I was not going to use this gift accordingly, I was just going to waste it on things that God did not intend it for. I was inspired the scripture in James 4:1-10 to write this.
Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”? But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.” Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.
So yes, God was silent but he was still leading and guiding me to different sermons to inspire and show me that I needed to change my heart, in fact it was through a TikTok video, where a Dr. Moore was teaching about a good method of writing your prayers down, she called it the 3, 2, 1 prayer method
and I tried it and through it: God told me to fast, which is something I have always dodged and afraid to commit to, [see how nothing is random] but I did this time and God spoke to me during that fast and even after that he continued to speak and walk with me and showed me what I needed to do in order to move forward and be in alignment with Him.
Just a sidenote, on that first of Fasting, God spoke to me through Isaiah 41:1-19 and in the first few lines, God emphasized to me that he would help me and that I should not be afraid, 3 times! And then in verse 19 God gave me a message so tailored for me and the desire I was praying for, I could not deny that it was God speaking, he knew I needed an answer like that.
I learned that God truly speaks to us and He wants to be in constant communication with us, but we need to also humble ourselves before the Lord, we need to correct our posture in front of God, otherwise we won't be willing to hear God has to say if we come full of ourselves. What I learned is that we need to check ourselves when we ask God for things, are we asking with pure hearts and intentions, have we forgiven those who have done us wrong, have we obeyed and committed to the things of the Lord, because we cannot ask God for things, when are still haboring things that are not of God, because God does not contradict himself therefore, he cannot do things for you that are going to contradict His Word. Let us ask God to Reveal us, reveal our hearts and then humble ourselves in how we seek the Lord.
Have a Blessed Sunday, God Bless
Zenani
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